Sunday, June 13, 2010

Wandering

So. A lot has changed since I first began this blog over three years ago, both for me personally, and within the "logosphere". Others have changed with it, some have moved on, and some have become too busy to post and share their perspectives about g/Gnosticism (both modern and ancient), what it is, what it means, and how it relates to their lives. I certainly am no exception to this.

I have indeed sought Wisdom, where ever I felt drawn to Her, and have found a variety of answers, but even more questions. My path has led both within and outside of "g/Gnosticism" (always a tricky word to define or nail down), and lately I have found my path leading quite away from the point at which I started.

This has brought me to the realization that indeed, I am moving away from "g/Gnosticism". I am forever changed by what I have learned. There are elements of g/Gnosticism that I will take with me, and lessons that have opened my eyes to things that I would have never considered four years ago when I first began to explore gnosis and Gnosticism.

I don't know if I'll continue to post to this blog. I'll certainly leave it as it as, but my focus is now elsewhere. For anyone who comes here with an interest in this Gnosticism thing, I'll point you in three directions: Philip K. Dick (he was a genius), Nag Hammadi Library (read it, know it, contemplate it), and the Apostolic Johannite Church (never been to any of their services, but I was and remain inspired by members of their clergy who have appeared in the logosphere).

One last thing: get out and do. Take what you learn about g/Gnosticism and get your hands dirty.  Let it inspire you. Volunteer to help with community organizations. Do something for someone else that will really mean something. Help those less fortunate than you. Spend time with yourself, contemplating your inner light and how you can be better than you are. But then go out and put it into action in your daily life. That's what this is really all about.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Ideas

What does this mean, to say that an idea or a thought is literally alive? And that it seizes on men here and there and makes use of them to actualize itself into the stream of human history? Perhaps the pre-Socratic philosophers were correct; the cosmos is one vast entity that thinks. It may in fact do nothing but think. In that case either what we call the universe is merely a form of disguise that it takes, or it somehow is the universe -- some variation on this pantheistic view, my favorite being that it cunningly mimics the world that we experience daily, and we remain none the wiser. This is the view of the oldest religion of India, and to some extent it was the view of Spinoza and Alfred North Whitehead, the concept of an immanent God, God within the universe, not transcendent above it and therefore not part of it. The Sufi saying [by Rumi] "The workman is invisible within the workshop" applies here, with workshop as universe and workman as God. But this still expresses the theistic notion that the universe is something that God created; whereas I am saying, perhaps God created nothing but merely is. And we spend our lives within him or her or it, wondering constantly where he or she or it can be found.
- Philip K. Dick, from If You Find This World Bad, You Should See Some of the Others.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Gnosticism, eh?

So, what is it? What are Gnostics? Is there a difference between Gnostic and gnostic? What do or did they believe? How do find them? How do you know? These are good questions for often evasive answers. The only thing that I can tell you is to read. Read, read, read, and then read some more. When you think you just can't take in any more about this gnosticism stuff.. take a break! Then READ some more. What do I read? I'm glad you asked, but I can only point you in a few directions. The rest is up to you.

I will point out some resources on the web that have been helpful to me. You shouldn't need to buy anything to learn more about Gnosticism or about what it is and what it isn't. Certainly I recommend finding good books on the subject, but your local library should have at least a few on hand.

Nag Hammadi
First, and this is generally the most important part, are the Nag Hammadi Codices. The.. what? The Nag Hammadi Codices, also referred to as the Nag Hammadi Library, is a collection of texts, written in Coptic and discovered near the small town of Nag Hammadi in 1945 in Egypt. Certainly there were Gnostic texts known about prior to their discovery (the Pistis Sophia being one), but the NHL was what one might call the motherlode.

You can find and read the texts for free on the web, the most well-known probably being in the archives of the Gnostic Society. They have a dedicated section devoted to the NHL. (Note: I will add that the Gnostic Society is operated by a modern day gnostic church, Ecclesia Gnostica. I don't have a strong opinion about the EG either way, but it's not really something I am interested in. There are a few gnostic churches out there, and you don't have to belong to any particular one to learn about or practice Gnosticism, nor in fact do you need to be a member of any of them to do so.)

Philip K. Dick
I can't really say enough about Philip Kindred Dick, or PKD as he is affectionately known, so I will just say a little and hopefully convey how extraordinary he was. If there was ever a modern gnostic prophet, PKD would have been it. He first gained notoriety as arguably one of the best science fiction authors in American history. His novels are quirky and sometimes quite mind-bending but often they carry gnostic themes, sometimes subtly, but at times much more overtly. Towards his later life he had, what was for him, a life-changing experience which he would go on to write about. After that he began to expound much more upon Gnosticism and gnostic ideas.

There are a few key works of PKD's that I believe should be required reading for anyone interested in Gnosticism: a novel, Valis, and three essays/articles he wrote, The Ten Major Principles of the Gnostic Revelation, Cosmogony and Cosmology, and How to Build a Universe that Doesn't Fall Apart Two Days Later. Other than that, explore his work and his ideas. He was very insightful and his novels are, on their own, generally quite good and engrossing.

The Logosphere
The Logosphere is the Gnostic blogosphere. Unfortunately it has lost some of its steam in the last year or so. I can't really guess why, perhaps it's the general ecomonic situation, perhaps it's other things. Regardless, there still remains a wealth of knowledge and wisdom to find if only you'll plumb the depths! I have quite a few links to gnostic and Gnostic blogs to the left, but I'll point out a few that I have found invaluable. These are also, in my opinion, required reading:
  • Ecclesia Gnostica in Nova Albion was a blog written by Fr. Jordan Stratford+ of the Apostolic Johannite Church (a gnostic church). It became large enough that he had to start a new blog as a continuation. Especially helpful are his posts entitled Gnosticism 101 and Gnosticism 102.
  • Summer Harvest by Jeremy Puma. Jeremy is independent of any ecclesiastical structure to my knowledge, save for the Order of Allogenes. He's written a lot of interesting stuff that's definitely worth checking out.
  • Forbidden Gospels is the blog of April DeConick, Isla Carroll and Percy E. Turner Professor of Biblical Studies at Rice University. Whereas the two prior blogs mentioned deal with Gnosticsm as a modern practice, Dr. DeConick strictly deals with ancient G/gnosticsm from an academic perspective, and does so brilliantly. She also deals with other aspects of the early Christian narrative, including Christian and Jewish mysticism.
These are but three blogs in a whole host of resources, and I encourage anyone interested in Gnosticism, both ancient and modern, to check the links out to the left. I've put together an RSS feed that I call Window into the Logosphere. It contains the feeds of a number of gnostic blogs and you can subscribe to it with your favorite feed reader.

Gnostic Organizations
There's a short list of churches and organizations over on the left, but here's some of the important ones (in alphabetical order): Alexandrian Gnostic Church, Apostolic Johannite Church, Ecclesia Gnostica, Ecclesia Gnostica Mysteriorum, North American College of Gnostic Bishops, and Thomasine Church. You should check these out and see what each has to say about itself. You may find something that interests you. There are other organizations out there that claim to be "gnostic", but have nothing at all to do with what I've been talking about, or what you'll find in the links and blogs listed here. So buyer beware, read, research, and understand what you're looking at.

This is just a jumping off point. There is a lot of information to look through linked above, but it's a good place to start in your exploration of Gnosticism.

The Bible Barn(stone)



I just came across a recent article about Willis Barnstone in the San Francisco Chronicle. For those unfamiliar with Barnstone, he's authored or edited a number of books, some in conjunction with others (e.g. Marvin Meyer), including two books I have and would suggest checking out, The Gnostic Bible and the The Other Bible (although his wider range of work extends beyond biblical texts).

He has a new publication coming out, The Restored New Testament: A New Translation with Commentary, Including the Gnostic Gospels Thomas, Mary, and Judas (see cover above), and it looks quite promising. It's not inexpensive (list price is $59.95, although Amazon currently lists it at around $40), but I think it will have a unique perspective as far as NT publications go. Willis would seem to be a poet at heart, and the addition of the Gospels of Thomas, Mary, and Judas is, of course, intriguing. At the very least it might be worth trying to find a copy at your local library.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Fluidity

I've come to a somewhat obvious (after the fact) conclusion. I should preface by saying I've always known this on a more basic level, but never considered it on a broader scale: You can in fact go through life without a clearly delineated set of religious/spiritual/whatever beliefs.

Of course you should know certain things about what it is that opens up the inner spiritual world for you, what guides you along that path, be it Gnosticism*, Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc. There is, however, no reason why you should focus on one of these isms exclusively if you find truth in a variety of places. You can find truth in both the gutter and the cathedral. I sometimes wonder if you might find more of it in the gutter.

It has taken me some time to realize that these things don't have to fit in neat, tidy little boxes. That has been something I have struggled with in the past. I've felt pulled in several directions, and it only serves to confuse the point of it all and makes me take two steps back. Now I realize that I can be focused on something, and still occasionally look to other places for inspiration without it blurring the lines beyond recognition. Because really it's not about the isms. It's about how they allow you to become better than you are.

This idea isn't new. It's as old as thought itself.

(*Whatever Gnosticism means**.**For a general idea of what I mean when I say Gnosticism, see Logosphere links to the left. Sadly, many of them have become a little less than active in the last year, as has mine, but there is still a tremendous amount of information worth looking through.)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Enoch

I've been reading ZEEK lately, a website that covers various topics from Jewish perspectives. I came across an interesting article regarding Enoch. Here's a snippet:


The Zohar says that when Adam sinned and became achad, a seemingly alienated self obsessed with its delusion of uniqueness and separation, his capacity to achieve full divine consciousness was removed from him.When Enoch was born that capacity was placed in Enoch instead where it could once again be cultivated:
Enoch was born just outside the Garden of Eden. From birth a holy light glowed within him, and covered him, and made him the most beautiful of men. Enoch sought out the Tree of Life at the center of the Garden. When he found it he breathed deeply of its aroma, and his heart filled with the spirit of the Tree. Suddenly angels from heaven descended and instructed Enoch in the deepest wisdom of God. They pulled from the Tree a book that had been hidden there, and handed it to Enoch to study. Enoch read the book carefully and found within it the most sublime paths of God. As he practiced each path the light within him became even more pure. Soon the light was at its most pristine, and it desired to return to heaven from whence it came, to manifest this purity in the very being of Enoch.
Enoch is the promise that we can overcome our human limitations and reclaim our original divine potential. Importantly the light of God began to shine “within Enoch,” and the Light of God became “perfect within him.” Enoch’s transformation is an inner one first. Only when he embodies the Light of God on earth can he become the fire body of Metatron in heaven. Enoch is symbolic of that which each of us can become, and for which all humanity was destined from the very beginning.
Metatron is called “keeper of the keys” to wisdom, and one of these keys is called “the light of discernment.” This light allows humans to explore and ultimately to grasp the most sublime mysteries of creation. “Metatron, then, is the aspect of [God’s] glory that is depicted as the measurable anthropos (human) who sits upon the throne and appears in prophetic visions.” He is the “link between the human and the divine.”

It's worth checking out.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Looking Away

Apologies for the lack of posts. A lot has  been happening in the personal life, and also a lot has been churning through my mind regarding the spiritual as well. I should simply say that I feel lately as if I am beginning to move in a different direction.

This looking away from gnosticism that I have been doing, encountering, has been occurring for some time, months and months. It is not so much a rejection of G/gnosticism, as it is a yearning for something that I feel is missing. There are core elements of the G/gnostic ideas and mythos that I will always retain should my path lead elsewhere. When I first personally discovered G/gnosticism, there were ideas and ways of thinking, about god and the nature of the world around us, that struck a chord too deep to be forgotten or easily relinquished.

That being said, I know that my path is unmistakably beginning to shift, although this wasn't clear to me until recently. I have many doubts, and anxieties, but I'll continue to learn and to try to understand, and to ask questions. The examined journey is never easy, but the rewards are rich, if only one has the courage and commitment to embrace it.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Like So Many Theisms

I wanted to highlight some work that April DeConick is doing, which she's posted about over at The Forbidden Gospels Blog. In a post from about a week ago she mentioned that she's considering the potential for introducing new language to describe the field that currently is labeled "gnostic or gnosticism":
My reason for this is not that I do not think that gnosticism existed in the ancient world - in fact I do. But the categories have become so abused, that they have become heuristically meaningless for me as an historian of religion. I can't use them without running into walls.

The category is a huge mess and people use these words whatever-which-way they see fit for whatever argument they want to make. If they don't want a particular text to be gnostic, they will say that it doesn't have this-that-or-the-other characteristic that is gnostic. If they want the text to be gnostic, they will say that it has such-and-such characteristic which is gnostic. And then there is proto-gnostic, which means there are elements of gnosticism here, but not enough to make it gnostic yet.

In other words, there's much baggage associated with the terms "gnostic and gnosticism", and DeConick wants to step out of that box as it is constricting and stifles scholarly work! She goes on to suggest two possibilities:
I'm considering two names for this phenonemon. Transtheism or Supratheism. I like Transtheism because "trans" has two connotations: across and above/beyond. ... Supratheism is also possible, although it may indicate too much of a complete transcendence and separation of the God, as if the otherworldly God has no contact with this world (which is not the case in these systems).

Most recently, in a post entitled "Transtheism it is", DeConick has revealed her choice to move forward with, and why:
I have continued to ponder this terminology, and I have fallen in love with it. What it will allow me to do in terms of analysis is truly astonishing. I wish I had thought about this earlier in my career. To name the type of theism that these ancient thinkers were involved in allows me to cross boundaries and open up discussions of their ideology. I am not going to be restrained by previous research and definitions! The limits are gone.

I'm by no means a scholar, but I find this all very fascinating. Also, DeConick's book, the Thirteenth Apostle (about the Gospel of Judas), is soon to be re-released with a revised edition. I hadn't picked it up yet, and now I'm glad I hadn't. I'll be checking the new edition out as soon as I can.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Book Sale

There was another book sale at the local public library last week, and I made two trips down to check it out. The first trip wasn't very successful. An entire room, a relatively large room that's used for meetings and lectures, was used for the sale. The problem is that the room wasn't large enough for the crowd that showed up on the first day. The prices were cheap, which means that if you get lucky you can find something you're looking for, or even something you weren't but were pleasantly surprised to find, for no more than a few dollars.

During the first trip I searched around and picked up some art books, and the "The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot" by Caitlin Matthews. She's also the author of "Sophia: Goddess of Wisdom, Bride of God", which I have seen recommended before, but have yet to read. It's interesting, but it's missing two of the cards and had a few cards too many. I may try to use some of the excess cards, the internet, a printer, and some tape or glue to resolve that problem.

On the second trip, which was on the last day of the book sale, I was again lucky to find some interesting things. I say lucky, because the book fair lasts a week, and by the end of the week the selection is fairly picked over. Also to note on the last day, they let you stuff a bag with as many books as you can stuff, and you only spend a dollar for the whole lot. You can do this as many times as you like. I picked up three books (others with me picked up several more than three), and on average, I spent pennies for each. The first, "Inward Stillness", by George A. Maloney, S.J. This is a book about prayer and silence with a focus on the "inner" spiritual life. Second, a hardback copy of the Holy Bible, Old and New Testaments. It's red, with red-edged pages and gold-foil on the cover. It's quite nice. Lastly, a copy of the 1979 edition of the Book of Common Prayer of the Episcopal Church. Until recently this copy belonged to a small, but historic Episcopal church in the area. Lately I have developed quite an interest in the Episcopal Church, so I was glad to find this.

All things considered, the trips were productive, although I think they need a larger venue for the next sale. I look forward to delving into the selections I picked up, especially the Book of Common Prayer, if only to feed my curiousity.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Our World May Be a Giant Hologram

...or so says a very intresting article from NewScientist, located HERE. An excerpt:
According to Craig Hogan, a physicist at the Fermilab particle physics lab in Batavia, Illinois, GEO600 has stumbled upon the fundamental limit of space-time - the point where space-time stops behaving like the smooth continuum Einstein described and instead dissolves into "grains", just as a newspaper photograph dissolves into dots as you zoom in. "It looks like GEO600 is being buffeted by the microscopic quantum convulsions of space-time," says Hogan.

If this doesn't blow your socks off, then Hogan, who has just been appointed director of Fermilab's Center for Particle Astrophysics, has an even bigger shock in store: "If the GEO600 result is what I suspect it is, then we are all living in a giant cosmic hologram."

The idea that we live in a hologram probably sounds absurd, but it is a natural extension of our best understanding of black holes, and something with a pretty firm theoretical footing. It has also been surprisingly helpful for physicists wrestling with theories of how the universe works at its most fundamental level.
What's even more interesting is if you read this article and then read Philip K. Dick's "Cosmogony and Cosmology", which PKD wrote in 1978, over at the PTG.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Changes

Ever so often I like to change the look of the blog. If fact, Seeker of Sophia has been through three major thematic times in its life. I liked the first incarnation. I was quite happy with it, and it reflected something about myself at the time.

Eventually I outgrew it and decided that I could do better. So I did, and I spent some time making the layout much snazzier, in my opinion, and I was very happy with the result. I carried over part of the original theme, the rainbow gradient, light shifted and shown in so many ways, and layered a lotus blossom atop it, to symbolize growth and flowering.

So it is fitting in this time of the year, when the Sun is reborn, when we are celebrating birth of things new, when people are celebrating the changes to come, with hopefulness and faith and effort, both in the world and in themselves, that I have decided to change the look yet again. As with the first two versions of the blog, the layout represents me in a way, perhaps in only ways that I am aware of. It reflects that I am changing, hopefully growing and learning, becoming someone better than myself. All this based on what I have learned and what I continue to seek out, whether that be gnosis, Sophia and Christ, god, something to listen to, a book to read, a meal to eat, a future that I can be happy with, or simply myself.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A Sacred Institution?

Here is an excerpt from an article in Newsweek, regarding gay marriages and the oft-uttered "the Bible says" arguments against them. It turns out that "the Bible says" crowd isn't being particularly factual, although in their defense most of them probably don't realize that. Link to the full article is below the quote:
Let's try for a minute to take the religious conservatives at their word and define marriage as the Bible does. Shall we look to Abraham, the great patriarch, who slept with his servant when he discovered his beloved wife Sarah was infertile? Or to Jacob, who fathered children with four different women (two sisters and their servants)? Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon and the kings of Judah and Israel—all these fathers and heroes were polygamists. The New Testament model of marriage is hardly better. Jesus himself was single and preached an indifference to earthly attachments—especially family. The apostle Paul (also single) regarded marriage as an act of last resort for those unable to contain their animal lust. "It is better to marry than to burn with passion," says the apostle, in one of the most lukewarm endorsements of a treasured institution ever uttered.
Full article is HERE.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Holy Brawl


Greek Orthodox and Armenian monks resort to violence at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem. Story from the BBC is here. Bizarre.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Sophia, The Wisdom of God



The above is an icon in the collection of the British Museum. It is a Russian icon from the late 17th century, depicting Sophia, God's Wisdom, along with Christ, the Theotokos ('God-bearer', Mary), and John the Baptist (a.k.a. Forerunner). Here's an excerpt from the site:
Amongst icons of the Mother of God in the collection of the British Museum is a fine icon of ‘Sophia the Wisdom of God’ (cat. no. 25) from the late 17th century. In this icon are represented two widespread versions of the symbolic union of the image of the Mother of God with the idea of Divine Wisdom ‘building her house’, understood as the creation of the earthly church. The image of the fiery-faced winged angel in the centre, according to Novgorodian tradition, arises from the prophecies of Isaiah about an angel of Great Light and the vision of John the Apostle in the Book of Revelation: ‘And I saw another mighty angel come down from heaven, clothed with a cloud: and a rainbow was upon his head, and his face was as it were the sun, and his feet as pillars of fire’ (10:1).
Below is a more recent rendition of the above icon, found here:


Sunday, November 2, 2008

Reputation, Posterity and Cool = Fear

I'd like to share a blog post written by comedian/actor Patton Oswalt, in which he addressed the 2008 graduating high school class of his alma mater. Here's a quote from the post:
I completely ignored the deeper lesson which is do not judge, and get outside yourself, and realize that everyone and everything has its own story, and something to teach you, and that they’re also trying – consciously or unconsciously – to learn and grow from you and everything else around them. And they’re trying with the same passion and hunger and confusion that I was feeling – no matter where they were in their lives, no matter how old or how young.
Full post is here.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Book Sale

Last week the local public library had a book sale of old library books and donated books that were either removed from the shelves, or never made it there in the first place. I didn't know about the book sale until it was almost over, but there were many books of all sorts to be had. The stock was fairly picked over, but I think I managed to find a couple of gems, "Early Christian Doctrines", by J. N. D. Kelly (this edition published in 1978), and "Man and God: Passages chosen and arranged to express a mood about the human and divine", by Victor Gollancz (published in 1951).

Both books are exactly what they claim to be. The Kelly work is, as far as I can tell so far, a comprehensive summary of doctrines, beliefs, and ideas that were formed during the early centuries of Christianity. It is a bit dated, obviously, but I think I'll find it very informative.

The other, "Man and God" by Victor Gollancz, also seems very intriguing at first glance. There are quotes and passages assembled from both the Old and New Testaments, noted Rabbis, the Zohar, Soloviev, Saints of both the Eastern and Western Christian churches including Julian of Norwich and John Chrysostom, Beethoven, Chuang Tzu, Goethe, the Bhagavad Gita, C. G. Jung, John Macmurray, Dostoevsky, William Blake and many others. I think it's remarkable, but I haven't had much of a chance to really get into it yet. If I enjoy it as much as I am anticipating, it should be well worth the pennies I spent on it.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

THE BIG GNOSTIC SECRET

...is out, people. The biggest argument that I still see against Gnosticism is that it was secretive. The implication, without fail, is that this was a dirty secret. It was so secretive in fact  some of the various Gnostic groups were known about in their own time, so secretive that there are tomes written by the likes of Irenaeus against them. It's needless to say that it wasn't a very well-kept secret.

What about now? The links to the many gnostic blogs on this page? Those aren't secret. The Nag Hammadi Library collection over at gnosis.org? That's not secret either. In fact, if you're willing to learn about Gnosticism, however broad a category that is, you'll find information plastered ALL OVER the internet. Information is also published in books at your local library or bookstore, and in academic works that may be a touch out of reach for many people, both because of their cost and academic jargon, but nevertheless, they are there. They are not secret.

So what is the real secret? It's not that you can't find the information. The real secret (which also isn't really a secret) is that you probably won't understand the information when you find it. That doesn't make you stupid, and those of us who do think we understand it, in any extent, don't think you're stupid. (We really don't think we're better than you. I'm sorry to burst that bubble.) The truth is, most of us don't fully understand it either and you would be hard-pressed to find a "modern Gnostic" or academic who will claim to. If they do they're probably lying. In fact, the real, REAL SECRET, is in the journey, and the journey only takes on meaning if you're walking it, however that may be. Anyone can walk it. Whether it's a journey that is right for you is for your own determination. Gnosticism is not something everyone will embrace, and it never will be.

Gnosticism is a complex issue, both from the perspective of those who practice it in a contemporary religious form, and for those who spend their lives studying classical Gnosticism and its umbrella of related topics. To make a practice of reducing it to such simplistic buzzwords, "secretive, elitist, dualistic", etc., is at best ill-informed, and at worst disingenuous.

By the way, if you look at all of the links on this page, click on them and see that there is indeed a vibrant modern Gnostic current, you'll see that those arguments aren't really working. "I'm just saying...", as they say.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

AFR

I've been listening to Ancient Faith Radio a lot lately. It's an online Orthodox Christian radio station featuring religious chants and music, and occasionally there are spoken word bits about Christian and specifically Orthodox topics. There is also Ancient Faith Talk, which as you might imagine, is mostly spoken word content, although they have music every so often.

I am rather drawn to it, and really enjoy listening to the music. I have an interest in the Orthodox Christian churches that keeps me coming back to the topic, which is one reason I listen to AFR as much as I do. This is all not to the exclusion of my "gnostic understanding" of the nature of things, but there is a beauty about the Orthodox churches that inspires me. Perhaps I am only seeing a romanticized version of the subject, as I am sure there are probably many Orthodox, who knowing my other spiritual persuasions, would be scandalized. Regardless, it's there, and I embrace it as it is. I don't know where this interest will take me ultimately, but I have an idea of where I would like it to lead me.

Regardless, I'll continue to listen to Ancient Faith Radio, and I encourage others to listen to it and perhaps be inspired by the Spirit of it as I have been.