Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Time Away

It's been a few months since the last post. I have been somewhat away, and things have been a little hectic personally, and that has managed to pull me away from Here. I was reading The Gnostic Bible daily, and that was providing some insights I hadn't had before. That has, for now, fallen by the wayside as well. I have been keeping up with bits and pieces from the Logosphere, and reading April DeConick's Apocryphote of the Day entries (all very compelling!) over at the Forbidden Gospels Blog.

I'd like to be more focused during these ups and downs, but I haven't mastered that yet. Things happen, and you put more energy into other things, when there are things that might be more helpful that you set aside, feeling too drained or too "out of it", for the moment, to engage in.

I suppose there is the sense that these things are a luxury. Spending time on the spiritual, on the self-centered (I say that not with a negative tone) journey.. it just feels like there are other things I could and should be doing. Perhaps I haven't learned to integrate the spiritual into my life yet. It's a thing I do, not a thing I am, but that opens the existential can of worms, "who am I?" I don't entirely know the answer to that. I do know that This is important, and that I want to invest myself in it, but sometimes I simply find that the Door is not open. Sometimes I even lose the Door.